The Joy of Taking Away – When Less Becomes More

What if the key to happiness isn't adding more fun things to your life, but taking them away?

When Life Turns Upside Down

Becoming a mum of two gave me a proper wake-up call. Suddenly I had new glasses that let me see clearly what really mattered, what our dream life actually looked like, and most importantly – what my family and I actually thrive on. Even though it's been tough, I never would have gained these insights without being pushed to my absolute limit.

The Handful of Soil That Changed Everything

The insight came when I was starting my vegetable seeds for the coming summer's garden. I love gardening – pottering around, watching the plants grow, eating the most delicious vegetables where I know exactly how they've been grown. It's my meditation, my joy.

So there I was, sitting on the floor with my then 10-month-old daughter beside me, getting the soil out. I looked away for ONE single second and there she was with her mouth stuffed full of earth. Then she started pulling at all the pots, spilling seeds everywhere.

The irritation hit me like a wave. I couldn't get anything done. Stress crept in like a cold fog, and I felt the guilt following close behind. Why couldn't I just... handle this?

Something that had always brought me joy suddenly felt like a source of frustration and stress. It was like my love for gardening had transformed into something else entirely.

The Revelation About Life's Seasons

There was so much I wanted to do – garden, read, write. Everything was enjoyable, but I felt more and more that everything was becoming half-hearted. I was constantly thinking about all the things I wanted to do but couldn't find time for.

Then came the big moment: Life has seasons.

My children are small right now, and this phase will never come again. But gardening? I can do that for countless years ahead. The same goes for many of the things that were pulling me away from what was most important: being present with my children.

The Art of Scaling Back

I started deliberately scaling back everything else. It wasn't about giving up on myself – quite the opposite. It was an active choice about what matters most right now. A choice that paradoxically gave me more of myself back.

Concretely, this meant putting my plans to develop my Instagram account on hold. The gardening projects had to wait – except for the absolute essentials. All those house projects that always screamed for attention got quieted down. And social plans that didn't feel 100% right? I said no to those without guilt.

The same insight hit me when our Gotland trip had too many stops and our 4-year-old became completely overwhelmed by all the impressions. We don't need to tick off every place on the list. A few that we get to know more deeply is enough.

When the Process Took Root

When this process of scaling back really took root, something magical happened. I felt at peace in a way I'd forgotten was possible. I could be in the moment without constantly being mentally pulled away by everything that "should" be done. Be more spontaneous. Let things take the time they need.

The stress literally ran off me.

Now I could sit in the grass with my baby and delight in letting her discover the world, instead of having my brain full of thoughts about everything that needed doing in the garden. I could throw a ball with my 4-year-old without simultaneously thinking about the house projects that were waiting or what content I should post on Instagram.

Less That Becomes More

It turns out that joy doesn't always lie in adding more – more activities, more experiences, more projects. Sometimes it lies in taking away, in choosing not to, in saying no to what's good in order to say yes to what's best.

Living in your life's season instead of fighting against it. Accepting that this is my time for presence, not productivity. For depth instead of breadth. For quality instead of quantity.

In this new simplicity, I've found a freedom and joy that I didn't know existed.